Life’s Am I really here moments…

9 Apr

Guys, it’s been 7 months since my move to Georgia, and I still have my “Am I really here” moments. I am in love with this new life that I was blessed with! Things have come full circle, and it’s very humbling. I’m an emotional person anyway, so I can be driving home, and think about where I came from and burst into tears. They’re not sad tears, but tears of gratitude, and joy. I’ve been quite an emotional person since my mid-twenties, so I guess that’s who I am for now…lol

I was raised in the Church, and I was always a person who prayed and tried to lead a descent life. My faith began to be tested during and after undergrad. I graduated at the worst possible time. Gas was higher than we’d seen before and scarce at that! The economic recession hit, and my peers and I had no clue, what we were in for. I refer to it as the fight for fairness. None of my friends came from homes where our parents could financially take the burden of our rent, bills, etc. My friends and I have become the generation of ‘figure it out!”

Upon graduation, I got smacked with every financial distressing thing known to man. Things would happen in three’s and I felt that I couldn’t breathe. Bills were getting paid late (if at all!) the dog would get sick and need expensive medicine, the car would break down, and the  car note was high as heck, since I had no credit and no co-signer, I stayed sick constantly, so Dr. bills piled up! I’m thinking to myself… “Is this why I went to college? Come on!” Things got really bad, and I felt mentally, and spiritually  broken. I was accruing more than I was bringing in. My employer(s) weren’t paying me enough to live, and I have the feeling they thought they were doing me a favor!

 At the time, I was looking to the sky like…please help! My initial frustrations were mild. I would pray 6-10 times a day, and add a sarcastic please at the end. Then I got cocky, and rolled my eyes to the sky. The worst came when I was at wit’s end, and thought my current job was at risk due to some ridiculous technicality. I thought “Why would you bring me here, just so I could fall on my face?” I cursed God, and had never done that. I was in a faithless state of mind.

You see, it’s easy to believe and be of Faith when things are going well for you; but when hardships strike, that’s when you see how strong you really are. I failed miserably! But, I had a breakthrough in January and was brought closer to God despite what I had going on. I felt reassured that no matter what happened; I was safe with him.  I struggle at times, so it’s a constant battle, but the more engulfed in His arms I am, the easier it gets.

I couldn’t see what God had for me, so I was angry. I allowed my hardships to make me hard and bitter. I don’t want to be hard and bitter. These past three months have been a growing season for me. So if you pass me on 75 south, Cobb PKWY or just leisurely sitting in my car, eyes filled with tears…Know that I am filled with happiness and peace, because I’ve been made anew!

My honey and I have found a church home that we love! This new state has embraced us, and God is directing our Path. If you’re going through it today, let go and let God guide you. If you’ve done everything in your power to make situations better, and they don’t change, it’s not up to you to change it. Wait on God chile.

You’ve got to Worship until you win. Praise him through your circumstance. Here’s to new jobs, new dreams, new days and blessed finances for you all amen.

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3 Responses to “Life’s Am I really here moments…”

  1. Tenai April 11, 2012 at 1:44 am #

    So happy for you sis you have come a long way!

  2. Joyce Benson April 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    Sherelle, you have proved that hard work, persistance and FAITH will get you through the sometimes turbulent hurdles in life. College was the stepping stone, the begiining aftermath was the test, your success is the reward!!

  3. Caramel Rell April 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm #

    So glad I made it~ ‘My Testimony’- Marvin Sapp

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