Do the unthinkable in 90-days

25 Apr

Before I begin this post, I want to apologize for not posting anything new recently. Starting a blog and not posting regularly is unfair to you, so I will do better. Working full –time and the other daily routines shouldn’t keep me from my blogging duties!

So, without further ado……….

This may require some late nights and early mornings.

As you’ve hopefully read in my previous posts, I’m working on being closer to God, and strengthening my faith. I was unable to attend church service this past Sunday, because I was still recovering from my sinus congestion. I still wanted to hear the Word, so I turned the TV to the inspirational/gospel station. The message had to be meant for me to hear, because it truly gave me the push I needed.

From the time I was young, I always remember being artsy(wanting to draw, paint, write) I used to really want to be an illustrator, then I turned my attention on writing, because I was able to put my imagination to use in a whole new way. Plus, I kind of lost that drawing touch I once had in grade school. I’ve wanted to write since I first read Flyy Girl by Omar Tyree,then my junior year in High school  I read Alice Walker’s The Color Purple(needless to say, I was beyond intrigued by the world of creating characters) I was in love with the art of writing! My imagination runs wild, and I can be so detailed when I speak, but scared to put it to paper for fear of it not being accepted or understood by others.

I’ve started and stopped various stories, and never had the courage or push to keep going. I’ve never really given myself a time line to finishing any of my  work . Anyway, the message I received from the Pastor on the television spoke about planting your seeds (dreams) and allowing them to harvest and be multiplied by God (your faith). He went on about putting a certain dollar amount into your seed (dream) so that it can begin to harvest. Many of us allow ourselves not to live our dreams. We put our dreams on the back burner for so many different reasons: health, debt, children, and other personal needs. But if we put half of that into our seed, it would multiply and these small and seemingly important things would come later; but the dream would help you reach uncommon and unimaginable success, so that your needs are met.

I took this as a hint that I really need to put myself on a time line, and put way more effort into my dreams, goals, etc. My book has yet to be completed, and my other dreams have also been pushed aside. It’s time to stop worrying about how to get these things done, and do it! Let’s challenge ourselves for a 90-day Harvest! Write your seed down on a piece of paper, along with the steps to get there. Then, get started! In the words of Mary Mary “Go get your Blessing

What is your seed today? What do you envision for your life? Work on it now, and see yourself flourishing by stepping out on faith. Spend this week organizing your thoughts and your dreams and how you plan to put it in action. Next week, we’ll all start our 90-day challenge. I’ll do updates and you can update me on the status of your challenge.

Don’t defer your dreams! Let’s do the unthinkable together!

Leave a comment and let me know how it’s going or what steps you need to take!

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Why I’m not rushing into marriage and family

25 Apr

Lately, I keep running across articles and stories in the media regarding college grads putting off marriage, babies, etc. Since I fall into this group, I have to chime in!

 http://finance.yahoo.com/news/to-pay-off-loans–grads-put-off-marriage–children.html

There are really two huge factors as to why recent grads are not jumping into family and marriage. Can you guess why?

  • The first one is a no -brainer…this economy! We want to get married, have kids, the whole nine, but how in the world can we do that, when we can’t even get decent paying jobs? Then we’re expected to pay off the loans we accrued during all of that time in higher education. Employers aren’t giving college grads the chance to start at a decent living wage or provide an opportunity for advancement. Society says work hard and things will pay off and blah, blah, blah…but we all know that isn’t in the cards anytime soon! Most grads aren’t even working in their prospective career.
  • The second factor is we are a generation of forward thinkers. We want to live life, see what’s out there, and make a difference. The issue here is that we are constantly thinking of what else… (what else is out there for me, what kind of book do I want to write, what kind of music do I want to make, what genre of movies would I produce, what can I do to make a change, what’s beyond the four corners of this cubicle) Pausing to start families doesn’t really allow for that type of thinking and lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, I do want kids, and marriage sooner than later, but now is not the time. I’d like to have an actual ceremonial wedding without having to go to the Justice of the Peace (Let me be clear: I have NOTHING against a court house ceremony, sometimes that’s the route you need to take, or you may prefer it over the other alternatives.)  I’m not asking for some outlandish, large affair, but I want the chance to have a somewhat traditional wedding. Let’s be real, lower middle class families cannot pay for their kid’s wedding, reception, honeymoon, etc.

Young, motivated, and in love

Religious folk want us to married quickly so that we can live in a way that is acceptable by God, yet I see no one offering to help with any part of it. They’re like “Just go to the court-house” “You can always do something big later.” Whatever…those people know that the bigger wedding never happens down the road.Society wants us to do something quick and cheap because we’ve been together too long. They say, “There is never a perfect time to have kids” My response is…”uh, no, but there is a better time.”

So, we’ll continue to take the steps we need to take to live out our dreams. We’ll do the most uncommon things that lead to success (our definition of success). And, we’ll continue to love each other like there’s no tomorrow, support each other with each new day, and allow our hearts to continue to beat as one throughout this lifetime. A

College grads stay up! We are on our time!

If you’re already a working mom, you stay up too! Love you guys the most!

Life’s Am I really here moments…

9 Apr

Guys, it’s been 7 months since my move to Georgia, and I still have my “Am I really here” moments. I am in love with this new life that I was blessed with! Things have come full circle, and it’s very humbling. I’m an emotional person anyway, so I can be driving home, and think about where I came from and burst into tears. They’re not sad tears, but tears of gratitude, and joy. I’ve been quite an emotional person since my mid-twenties, so I guess that’s who I am for now…lol

I was raised in the Church, and I was always a person who prayed and tried to lead a descent life. My faith began to be tested during and after undergrad. I graduated at the worst possible time. Gas was higher than we’d seen before and scarce at that! The economic recession hit, and my peers and I had no clue, what we were in for. I refer to it as the fight for fairness. None of my friends came from homes where our parents could financially take the burden of our rent, bills, etc. My friends and I have become the generation of ‘figure it out!”

Upon graduation, I got smacked with every financial distressing thing known to man. Things would happen in three’s and I felt that I couldn’t breathe. Bills were getting paid late (if at all!) the dog would get sick and need expensive medicine, the car would break down, and the  car note was high as heck, since I had no credit and no co-signer, I stayed sick constantly, so Dr. bills piled up! I’m thinking to myself… “Is this why I went to college? Come on!” Things got really bad, and I felt mentally, and spiritually  broken. I was accruing more than I was bringing in. My employer(s) weren’t paying me enough to live, and I have the feeling they thought they were doing me a favor!

 At the time, I was looking to the sky like…please help! My initial frustrations were mild. I would pray 6-10 times a day, and add a sarcastic please at the end. Then I got cocky, and rolled my eyes to the sky. The worst came when I was at wit’s end, and thought my current job was at risk due to some ridiculous technicality. I thought “Why would you bring me here, just so I could fall on my face?” I cursed God, and had never done that. I was in a faithless state of mind.

You see, it’s easy to believe and be of Faith when things are going well for you; but when hardships strike, that’s when you see how strong you really are. I failed miserably! But, I had a breakthrough in January and was brought closer to God despite what I had going on. I felt reassured that no matter what happened; I was safe with him.  I struggle at times, so it’s a constant battle, but the more engulfed in His arms I am, the easier it gets.

I couldn’t see what God had for me, so I was angry. I allowed my hardships to make me hard and bitter. I don’t want to be hard and bitter. These past three months have been a growing season for me. So if you pass me on 75 south, Cobb PKWY or just leisurely sitting in my car, eyes filled with tears…Know that I am filled with happiness and peace, because I’ve been made anew!

My honey and I have found a church home that we love! This new state has embraced us, and God is directing our Path. If you’re going through it today, let go and let God guide you. If you’ve done everything in your power to make situations better, and they don’t change, it’s not up to you to change it. Wait on God chile.

You’ve got to Worship until you win. Praise him through your circumstance. Here’s to new jobs, new dreams, new days and blessed finances for you all amen.

The Complex, The Often Misunderstood, The lovely: Black hair…

26 Mar

Do you ever get ready to do your hair and end up staring at your disorderly tresses in the mirror with a blank stare?  It’s like “what am I supposed to do with this ish?” If you answered yes, then you probably have “black hair.” Black hair is not a negative phrase, it just defines generations of the most complex, unique, and misunderstood hair follicles known to man! No matter which one of my friends or female family members I ‘m talking to at the time, we always end up discussing our hair! We’re either trying to figure out what to do with it for the week, or agonizing over how much to spend getting it done!

I’ve had my hair cut so many times, primarily due to damage from chemicals. I finally went natural two years ago! It is still difficult dealing with my hair, but it’s so much thicker now, without my relaxer. I am a HUGE fan of lace front wigs these days. Although my natural hair has grown out, I have to be at work early, and I’m not the most crafty person with natural hair. I never learned to braid, so I am natural for the health of my hair, not so much the styling

We can’t just go to sleep with nothing on our heads at night. We all have used the satin pillow case, head scarf, bonnet, do-rags, and everything in between! We can’t just go for a swim or to any beach/vacation without getting it braided up or sewn- in to protect it. I think any man who is in a relationship with a women with such complex tresses are accustomed to the scarf, braids, wigs stands etc…lol! If not…he’ll get used to it! I know my honey has seen me in everything from a short crop to long braids, to natural, to wigs galore! That scarf of mine comes out every night around 10pm…lol!

Relaxed or natural, there is no easy way of pleasing the root-to– tip strands on top of that head. So instead of complaining and agonizing over our very ambitious hair, lets embrace it and keep each other uplifted, whether your hair is short, long, wavy, kinky as all get-out, straight, curled, knitted (lol…I mean sewn-in) braided, locked, and wigged out, whatever!

See the various hairstyles below from my family friends and loved ones.

Thanks to all my family and friends for allowing me to feature them on this week’s post! Without y’all, it would’ve just been me, and all my hair glory!…lol



Afro Puff hair piece

Full cap(when I’m feeling fancy huh)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dominican blow-out

Synthetic Braids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Natural dreads

Growing dreads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freetress lace front

Extensions with closure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Strand twist out

Flat ironed natural

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beverly Johnson Lace

Curly sew – in

Curly Conversations

19 Mar

This Category is dedicated solely to the very distinct entity that is “black hair”.  I will talk about everything from great products to use, styling tips, new trends, and share photos!


Want to be featured on Caramel Conversations? Send pics of your ‘do.’ What’s your hair style for the week? Email the hairstyle you’re rocking to work, school, and spring break, this week. I want natural, relaxed (permed), braids, personality pieces (weave), dreaded up, whatever! I will publish them on the blog under the title feature Blog: The Complex, The Often Misunderstood, The lovely: Black hair…What you rockin’ this week?

I promise to make sure I cover a topic in relation to hair every time I try or hear of new hair trends, wigs, weaves…everything! Look for the words ‘Curly Conversations’ listed under Special Conversations that means I’ve posted a topic relating to hair. Since this site will not allow posts on separate pages, I will use the main page to post ‘Curly Conversation’ blogs, listed under Special Conversations>Curly Conversations. 

Send Hairstyle pics to:

caramelconversations@yahoo.com

or Tweet them to @caramelrell

Who Knew Vitamin D was so lacking in Black women?

15 Mar

My momma always asked me “Did you take a vitamin today? What did you eat good?” I’d respond with ‘yesssss,momma” In attempt to get her to stop asking me.  Well, as usual, momma was right!

I am almost positive that I’ve discussed the matter of me being tired and running on E constantly. If not, consider yourself aware. Many of you (ladies) may also feel like you’re running low- on- fuel, so to speak.  I mean a constant state of fatigue and exhaustion.


For almost three years, I’ve felt this overwhelming sense of physical tiredness, accompanied with irritability and weight gain. After almost falling asleep during a staff meeting at work, (horrible, I know) I made an appointment to see what was up with me. My results came back revealing low levels of B-12 and a Vitamin D deficiency. Both explain my extreme tiredness, moods, and slow weight loss, etc.

Apparently, low Vitamin D levels are common in black women, due largely to our darker pigmentation and lack of exposure to the sun. I researched various reasons, but I’ll take my Doc’s advice and take supplements to improve my health. I have got to get back to the fun, happy, energetic woman I was before all of these mid twenties health issues.

Many other illnesses can derive from these deficiencies, so I’m taking serious action to reverse the low levels in my body. This may seem minor to talk about, but if left untreated, can lead to breast cancer, diabetes, and cause other preventable illness. Just wanted my lady readers to be aware, and get tested for these things, even if you don’t have any symptoms. Plus, it helps you lose weight, and get your body back! Who doesn’t want that? Most of us twenty something’s are working overtime to get those teenage bodies back. It won’t happen with low metabolism, low vitamin D and low B-12(even with exercise).

Do your research and talk to your Doctor to make sure your levels are where they need to be. The average Vitamin D level should exceed fifty, and mine is twenty-two! That is pretty scary, so I just want you all to be informed and healthy.

#FYI

xoxo

 

Mrs. Fix it…Don’t become her!

2 Mar

Here’s another one! Now that February has come and gone; it’s back to the basics with my blog.

After seeing the title, you are probably already guessing what I’m going to write about in this post…right? Well, I titled it Mrs. Fix it, because it’s a nickname I gave myself a while back. Most women are nurtures by nature. We hear that statement all the time, but for the most part, at least from my own experience and observance, it is true.

I noticed that I was worn out (mentally) all of the time worrying and trying to make sure everyone around me was okay. Not that anyone was asking me to do this; it was just something I have been accustomed to doing. I’m the oldest of four all together, and I am a protector. In recent years, I let myself get overwhelmed with doing everything, which is mainly my own fault for being so type A. I don’t even know if I am type A, but I have a certain way of doing things and conducting business and other things my own way. Those of you, who know me best, know what I’m talking about. I have to take care of everything my way. I get scared that if I allow my honey to do things they either, won’t get done, or get done in the way I would do them. (Sorry honey…lol- he knows this) Not that others’ ways are wrong, I’m just annoying like that at times. I am ashamed to say, I’ve also written down the words of what I wanted said. (I know, I know). I’m better now; well I’m working on it!

I would get so carried away trying to handle business for others, looking for jobs for people, writing letters for people, etc, and telling them how they should take care of THEIR business; and none of these grown people needed me to do anything for them. I’m not talking about daily chores (that’s a given.) I’m talking about managing everything that I feel needs to happen. This is what I call the brawny paper towel lady phase (picking up everything). I’ve learned that it’s okay to help your loved ones, but let them handle their own business. I don’t need to hover over grown folk! I let people do things their way, because we all have to live our own lives.  

I believe that women get caught up with making sure that the house is okay, and everyone in it is taken care of. Instead, let you man help out, even if it’s not the way you would handle it. Let siblings and family take care of themselves. Look out for self sometimes, or you’ll wind up suffering from exhaustion.

Bless my sister and my honey for loving my crazy self! These people have lived with my crazy self…bless their hearts.

So here’s to, no more making all of the important calls, looking for the next apartment/home when the lease is up, making all of the appointments, booking reservations, setting up meetings, and all the other crap we put on ourselves! 

Don’t be a Mrs. Fix it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

If there is a topic you’d like me to write about, send an email (address below) with the topic and I’ll do my best to post it!

caramelconversations@yahoo.com

 

Thanks for reading, and be blessed!